Because Green is Good!
Cannabis has a bad reputation of turning bright, productive individuals into lazy, track-pants-clad, sofa warmers with a Netflix scroll feature. It supposedly opens some gate that sucks people into its irresistible vortex of crack and prostitution. Daughters are apparently even more susceptible to its effects, and are converted into nymphomaniacs in only a few puffs. After a lifetime of telling us that “marijuana” is as bad as sin itself, governments around the world are now getting high just thinking about the increase in tax revenue and the decrease in penal costs that cannabis regulation represents.
So, what the H-E-double-hockey-sticks are we supposed to make of that?
What if we elevate the status of the lowly joint to that of a cigar? Cigars are dignified, glamorous, and smokers of them are often suspected to be of high intelligence and impeccable taste. Cigars are often handed out at celebrations as a gift. Smoking more or less cigars has no bearing on the “seriousness” of the cigar smoker; a person can be a chain smoker or a casual one with the same ease and consideration. In fact, most cigar smokers smoke quite a bit less often than the few that smoke a lot. In this lighter light, let’s look at ten good reasons to get high.
Reason Number 10 to Do Pot
There is no such thing as a cannabis hangover. Although ingesting it is known to make some people feel a little groggy the next morning, you won’t be tired, have a headache, or a feeling of crushing shame the day after smoking it, even if you smoked a lot of it: a lot. Per ounce of fun, it is also much cheaper than alcohol, lighter, more portable, and the packaging doesn’t have to be taken to the bottle depot. And while The Canadian Heart and Stroke Foundation warns that “There is currently little high-quality scientific evidence about the impact of recreational cannabis use on heart conditions and stroke,” the generalized theory states that the negative impact is far less than that of alcohol.
Reason Number 9 to Smoke Smoke
Smoking smoke is not as damaging as smoking cigarettes, primarily because it contains a single ingredient. Clearly, inhaling smoke of any source is not good for human lungs. However, even the American Lung Association states on its web site that “It's not possible to establish whether these [lung conditions] occur more frequently among marijuana (sic) smokers than the general population.”
Reason Number 8 to Blow a Doobie
Music rocks even harder. Like, up to 11. Who doesn’t want that?
Reason Number 7 to Burn a Spliff
Just when you thought there was no such thing: it makes chocolate taste even better! “What about the munchies,” you ask. “Won’t all those sweets and snacks go to my ass?”
Of course. But way less than the insanely fattening alcohol that you won’t be drinking.
Reason Number 6 to Smoke Weed
It grows like a weed and you can even grow it yourself! It can be cultivated inside, outside, decoratively, or discreetly. Apart from the smokable flower, the stalk, leaves, and roots can be easily brewed into sleep-inducing, arthritis-soothing, cannabutter.
Reason Number 5 to Roll a Pinner
A joint can be rolled to any size you like. One way to keep consumption down (quite a bit of the good stuff in a fat cone will not go into your system as it continues to burn when you break between puffs) is to roll smaller amounts at a time. The so-called “Pinner” is the perfect quick toke.
Reason Number 4 to Pack a Cone
A joint can be rolled to any size you like. So let’s make it a big one! For celebrations and other long evenings of fun and mirth, there’s nothing like a colossal cone to make it all the more luxuriously hilarious.
Reason Number 3 to Smoke Reefer
Getting high expands the horizons of the mind’s eye.
We all need to get out of our heads every once in a while, and cannabis is a far superior trip to a fall-down drunk.
Reason Number 2 to Smoke Dope
Impress the grandkids without contracting HIV or hepatitis! Between dope and a tattoo, getting stoned can still be fancy and is less permanent than than getting branded. The are other ways to smoke apart from rolled up. Simple pipes are a quick, economic, and discreet toke. Elaborate bongs are fun to play with and can be quite impressive to look at.
Reason Number 1 to Get High